Wednesday, June 3, 2009

High School Hearthrobs...

Okay, this is going to be yet another random over assessing pop culture blog strap in, make sure your tray tables are in their upright and locked position, and the captain has turned on the "being awesome" sign.

I'm sitting here watching the last episode of Saved by the Bell, the Malibu Sands summer, and as the classic early 90s love music kicks in as Zach says goodbye to Stacy and Slater walks off with a young, hot Denise Richards, I'm left to wonder...did either Zach or Slater ever get laid? For that matter did any TV high school hearthrob get laid?

I'm talking Fonzie, Zach Morris, Shawn Hunter, Will Smith, Eddie Winslow and a whole slew of others...we were led to believe that they were the macks of their respective schools and had the girls falling all over them. But it doesn't seem like they ever got more action beyond the no tongue closed mouth kisses we saw on screen.

It's a very odd concept that the illusion these shows tried to create, because in actuality if these guys existed in real high schools, they would probably be crawling with so many diseases it would make Courtney Love blush. Yet it didn't matter how many girls these guys hit on, kissed, asked out, dated, or what have you they were back a week later with a new one.

High school TV sure tried to teach us some weird values.

Anyway for those still playing the little game I mentioned last week, here's another one to crash your internal hard drive. Imagine the country's first black president Mays Gilliam, the evil alien from Men in Black 2, Severus Snape, Frida Calo, independent pornography star Lester The Molester Cocknshtuff, and the Warlock trying to track down Daredevil and Will Hunting all while being thwarted by Earl, his brother Randy, and Rufus, and thus you have a really interesting re imagining of Dogma.


Missy said...

In the BMW episode "And Then There Was Shawn" they make a comment about how only virgins survive horror movies. Shawn says something along the lines of getting as sick as possible WITHOUT dying. So it would seem he hadn't made it to home base at that point. (They were seniors at the time.)


angela said...

But it doesn't seem like they ever got more action beyond the no tongue closed mouth kisses we saw on screen.

Uh, have you ever seen 'Boy Meets World'? There were definitely no closed mouth kisses from Shawn.

'Family Matters' didn't shy away from these kind of make out scenes either. That said, there was episode where Steve accidentally lets all the guys know in the locker room that Eddie was still a virgin.

'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' definitely did not have Will in very chase situations especially.

'Saved By The Bell' is an exception because it was a Saturday morning show for tweens.