Saturday, September 13, 2008

You've Got Questions...

We've got MANswers? Really?

As I was trying to stay away from the abomination that is TNA, I saw a commercial for something that not only made me ashamed of my gender but of society in general. Now Spike TV I understand that you are a channel with very few actual real television shows, and you are simply here to appeal to the male gender's most basic naturalistic desires: sex and violence.

The shows they have on their network are TNA Impact (which I guess is supposed to appeal to guys), Pros vs. Joes, all forms of UFC programming, and any number of muscle cars or animal attack shows. Also last, but not least...the show MANswers.

In case you haven't heard of this show, the idea of the show is that it takes questions all men have but would never ask aloud and answers them through the medium of bikini clad models and midgets. After doing a bit of research the questions that this show feels is what's on the tip of all men truly truly frightens the shit out of me.

The first season of this show (yes, they've been renewed) has had such wonderful topics as: "How to tell the difference between a dealer and a narc?" "How to tell if she's a hooker or a cop?" "Fake breasts or real breasts: Who's hornier?" "Safest way to get hit by a car." and "How to bust out of handcuffs."

Now...these are just some of my personal favorites, believe me there are others. And yes, they are all completely ridiculous. Now I'm not exactly sure what to make of this because not only have I never asked any of these questions to myself, even when very inebriated, but I don't think I've ever heard any of these discussed by anyone. Does this make me less of a man, or less of a moron? I'm going to go with the latter. But if these are the questions that enough people actually tune in to find out the answers to, then there is no real question over the debate of the battle of the sexes. Sorry boys, we lose.

I've always been under the impression that women have been the dominant gender anyway, but this show MANswers really proves it to me. I can just picture the kind of beer swilling, frat boys that will sit around the TV before talking about how many skanks they are going to bang while watching MANswers and high-fiving each other when the over-masculine announcer announces exactly how to take a stripper home with you (yet another winner topic) while showing a female stripping to practically nothing.

And to reassure people that with their second season they haven't sold out and actually posed intelligent questions, here are the challenging topics they plan on tackling on their season premiere:
Can you freeze your farts and smell them later?
What animal can give you an erection for hours?
What country's army pays for fake boobs?

For shame MANswers, for shame.

1 comment:

Sorgatron said...

The male version of Lifetime, this is not. I wonder when they will put out a channel aimed at the mid life crisis aged male, instead of the famed 18-25 male.

I do miss MXC, though.